McCallion
Quest

Parent Pressure - We All Go Through It…

But it need not be the end of the world

Everyone thinks the worst problem in our lives right now is peer pressure, well compared to another type of pressure that most of us are feeling; it seems easy to turn down another student. Yet, when it’s the people that gave you life, fed you, gave you a home, well you know where I’m getting to, it’s a lot harder to say no. Presently, the worst problem in our lives at this moment is parent pressure.

Think of all the teens that have to live day to day but sadly this is not enough for some of their parents, especially if they have “big shoes to fill”, from older siblings. Think of all the teens whose parents have taken it so far as to choosing their courses in high school, to selecting all of their after school teams, and their friends. Definitely, one of the hardest things in life to say, is to say no to your parents simply because their reasons for controlling your life are endless: Let’s see…for starters

…they brought you into this world;

…you live in their house

…you eat their food…

…you live in their house

…you eat their food…

By now, you get the picture.…

Sadly though the question that hangs in each of our minds is why we teenagers haven’t spoken up and said something?

Well, it could be that they’ve been so sucked into doing what their parents say, that they completely forgot that they don’t want to do what they’re doing. There are some other cases, when the child is so angry and depressed because their life is filled with decisions made by people who they consider superior to them, that they now don’t have the courage to speak up at all. Even though your situation may look desperate, people who you feel are more superior than you have the right to take away your freedom. You may have come across a teen that has turned to drugs or alcohol and perhaps even suicide attempts; some of which may have been due to parent pressure.

Last year, in English, I got a chance to see a movie, entitled, “The Dead Poets Society”. In this movie, we learn about a boy named Neil Perry who followed all of his father’s wishes, even to the point where his father was deciding what extra curricular activities he should involve himself in. Neil, an A student, did everything his father decided, regardless of whether he agreed with it or not, but who found out, later in the movie, that acting was something that he truly loved. Naturally gifted in acting, Neil began to see acting as a release for his prison like life. If he wasn’t acting, Neil thought he had nothing to contribute to society. Although he was happiest when he was acting, Neil’s father saw acting as a foolish pleasure that was not going to provide a suitable future for his son. Once he found out Neil was acting, his father forbid him to act anymore.  Neil couldn’t deal with the idea of quitting the school’s play, “A midsummer Night’s Dream”, even though his father made it clear, a day before it was to open, that he couldn’t be in it.

So, after going behind his father’s back and starring in the play, Neil’s father finds out and immediately withdraws him from his school, enrolls him in a military academy and yells at him for going against his wishes. Instead of confronting his fears, and standing up to his father and expressing his desires and dreams, Neil decides that is is not worth it to argue. He sees no way out and later that night, while his parents sleep, he sadly takes his own life.

Neil committed suicide because he saw no way out of his life and the control his parents had over it. He realized he had not nor could he live up to his father’s extreme expectations and his disapproval of his interest in acting. Neil’s father controlled his every move, and not just about acting. He literally had planned the next ten years of his son’s future. But Neil’s mistake was bottling up his feelings, because he felt no one was listening. His biggest mistake was not talking about it with someone and especially not talking about it with his parents, rationally and sensibly.

There is a point in everyone's life where they feel that no one understands them, and no matter what they say, they feel that it won’t change the situation. However, if we reflect back on the movie, by Neil killing himself, his father never had the opportunity to understand his son's desire. All he had were the should have beens and the could have beens. There were no definites.  If Neil would have spoken his own verse, confronted his fears and told his father of his choices and his passion, maybe, just maybe his father could have understood just a little better what his son was feeling, and maybe things could have ended a little bit happier.

To some of you out there that may be going through these parental pressures, please, for yourself and for the sake of others, talk to someone. It would be ideal to talk to your parents, but if not talk to a trusted teacher or seek out the guidance counselor. Someone out there will listen and provide assistance. Whatever you do, don’t bottle up your feelings, and don’t be scared to tell someone what you really are feeling. When all said and done, even if it doesn’t appear so right now, “you” are the holder of your future and your opportunities.  But when we are young and in adolescence, we still need to share our desires and our dreams with our parents or other adults we trust so that they can help us in life’s journey.

Sources:

1.         See, Jessica. Dead Poets Society: Articles. Feb. 1st 2006. http://www.antiromantic.com/dps/art_summary.asp