McCallion
Quest
Hazel’s new Policy on Hugging, is Cause for Concern
By: Janelle Wallace, staff writer
Earlier this term Hazel McCallion had an assembly on student behaviour. Most of the subjects covered were concerning organization, order and simple rules within the school. Being a very organized person, I understood and agreed with most of the rules. Until, the subject of "hugging your friends" came up. I have a problem with this rule, and think that hugging your friends should be allowed at Hazel McCallion.
As there was not a lot of information on the Internet for this topic, the issue of hugging your friends within the school only seems to be a problem at Hazel McCallion. Is the reason that there wasn't a lot of information on this subject because other schools don't hug each other or is it because their administration doesn't seem to care about it? Personally, I think that kids from other schools hug their friends because, I mean, who can't, and perhaps it’s because the administration at most schools simply doesn't mind. It is also important to recognize that nowhere in the "student behaviour code" of the Peel Board of Education does it say that you aren't allowed to hug your friends. Most of the rules stated in this behaviour code focus on the more ‘serious’ offences like drugs, weapons and vandalism.
Dan Young, a student at Upper Perk High School, says, "Changes need to be made to the affection policy in all schools. It's ludicrous to attempt to outlaw hugging within schools."
"Ludicrous" was the keyword in that quote, because that is exactly what this rule is.
If hugging isn't allowed at McCallion, then we're sending the student body mixed messages. At school dances, the administration doesn't seem to mind that we slow dance. Yet, a slow dance is really like a four minute hug, not to mention it’s with the opposite sex. This provides more time for the "sexual touching", that our administration is concerned about in hugging, to occur. By enforcing this rule, is our school trying to say that we are allowed to hug a member of the opposite sex for four minutes in a darkened gym, but not our friends for four seconds in a crowded hallway? And, if the hugging rule is enforced and followed, what's next? Dances without slow songs, or will there be any more dances at all? To me, an average student, these "mixed messages" are quite confusing, and they make no sense.
Between the ages of 12-16, friends become more important to teens. In adolescence, relationships between friends can sometimes become even more important than their relationship with parents. Teens need to know that they are accepted in their group of friends. They find that that hugs from their friends assure them that they are still loved and appreciated by them. This is a time in their life when teens shy away from their parents and instead go to their friends for emotional support.
Youth worker, Bill Saunders (author of "What Teens Need Most From Their Parents") says, "What they are living for is acceptance. During those in-between years - more than at any other stage of development - a child is hypersensitive to judgment by his peers. He/she craves a sense of belonging."
It’s not that teens want to completely lose or weaken the relationship with their parents, they just want to spend more time, and get more attention from their friends.
Lawrence Steinburg, (author of "You and Your Adolescent") says,
"Adolescents need to be reassured that nothing - neither their growing maturity, their moods, their misbehaviour, nor your anger at something they've done - can shake your basic commitment to them."
This is why the "simple hug" is an essential need for all teens.
By telling us not to hug our friends we are being limited in our ways of expressing ourselves. It always feels good to get a hug from a friend. When adolescents are hugged by either their parents or their friends, they feel protected and secure. Most of all, they feel accepted. When you were growing up did your Mom and Dad not hug you? With this hugging in your life, a hug became a natural form of emotional expression. Many of us feel comfortable to hug almost anyone.
Teens now use hugging as a way to express themselves through affection. Hugging is just another way of expressing our true feelings towards one another. It should not be seen as a daily disruption of our schoolwork. Teachers always say to me that my job as a student is to come to school prepared and ready to learn. Well, I don't see how hugging my friends is preventing me from learning. Basically, hugging our friends does not and will not affect our performance in school and our ability to do our work successfully. Unless of course, our school begins to deduct marks for each hug we give.